Maple Street Salary Reveal

After the BBC made the decision to reveal the salaries of its top earners, it has become clear that there is an appetite amongst the general public for greater transparency from their media and content providers.

In light of this, Maple Street have opted to follow suit and reveal how much we earn, in the hopes of building greater trust between ourselves and our clients.

All salaries are correct at the time of publishing

neil

Creative Director - Neil Cowling

Neil earns a salary of £1.5 million, though he insists on being paid exclusively in Francs, the extinct French currency, so his actual take home pay, after tax, is £0.

sara

Head of Production - Sara Hashem

Sara works on the basis that we keep her identity secret and continue to aid her flight from justice.

nic

Senior Creative -Nicki Marinovic

Nicki is in fact the ghost of a small Serbian child, and earns revenge rather than money.

kat

Content Producer - Katherine Kerr

Katherine works on a day rate – meaning she is paid in days. For every week she works, we extend her life by a day. Kat is 134 and will never die.

julia

New Business Manager - Julia Vethakkan

As our newest recruit, Julia is still on probation and is therefore is not paid an actual salary – we simply provide her with food, water and a small piece of tarpaulin she can use as shelter during rainy nights.

spalds

Creative Writer - Rich Spalding

Rich earns £nowherenearenough – his salary is surprisingly low, considering his talent, his good looks and the amount of joy he brings us on a day to day basis, both personally and professionally. He is well overdue a pay-rise and is absolutely not using this as a passive aggressive method of asking for one. But do please get #getrichapayrise trending. Thanks.

lou

Executive Producer - Louise Mulroy

Louise shits gold and has no need for actual money.

laura

Assistant Content Producer - Laura Gallop

Laura is paid in weapons.

There are two major conclusions to take from this –

As at the BBC, there is a clear and present equality issue at Maple Street. 75% of our top earning staff are women, only 25% men. It’s a problem we are very proud to have and are doing absolutely nothing to rectify.

None of us actually take home a penny – so please, please keep doing business with us. Our families are very hungry.

That is all. Thank you.